A Guide to Decluttering a Cluttered House

Decluttering a cluttered house can seem overwhelming, but breaking it down into manageable steps can make the process more manageable. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you:

Step 1: Plan and Prepare
 Set Clear Goals: Define what you want to achieve. Do you want a more organized living space, or are you preparing for a move?

 Create a Decluttering Schedule: Break down the task into smaller, manageable sessions. Allocate specific times for each area of your house.

 Gather Supplies: Have trash bags, recycling bins, boxes, and cleaning supplies ready.

Step 2: Start Small
 Begin with One Area: Choose a small area to start with, like a drawer or a corner of a room. This helps build momentum and gives you a sense of accomplishment.

 Set a Timer: Work in short bursts, such as 15-30 minutes, to avoid burnout.

Step 3: Sort Items
 Use the Four-Box Method: Label four boxes or areas as: Keep, Donate, Trash, and Relocate.

 Handle Each Item Once: Pick up each item and decide which box it belongs in. Avoid second-guessing your decisions.

Step 4: Keep Only What You Need or Love
 Evaluate Necessity and Joy: Ask yourself if you’ve used the item in the past year or if it brings you joy. If not, consider letting it go.

 Limit Sentimental Items: Keep a few sentimental items, but avoid holding onto everything.

Step 5: Dispose Responsibly
 Trash and Recycle: Dispose of broken or unusable items properly. Recycle where possible.

 Donate: Give away items in good condition to charities, friends, or family.

 Sell: Consider selling valuable items online or through a garage sale.

Step 6: Organize and Store
 Designate a Place for Everything: Assign specific places for items you’re keeping.

 Use Storage Solutions: Invest in storage solutions like shelves, bins, and organizers to keep items tidy and accessible.

 Label Containers: Label boxes and containers to easily identify contents.

Step 7: Maintain the Clutter-Free Environment
 Adopt a One-In, One-Out Policy: For every new item you bring in, consider letting go of an old one.

 Regularly Review and Declutter: Set aside time every few months to reassess and declutter your space.

 Develop Daily Habits: Spend a few minutes each day tidying up and putting things back in their designated places.

Additional Tips

 Tackle Paper Clutter: Sort through mail and documents regularly. Use a filing system for important papers and go digital where possible.

 Get Family Involved: Encourage family members to declutter their own spaces and maintain shared areas.

 Stay Motivated: Reward yourself for progress made. Take before and after photos to see the difference.

By following these steps and staying consistent, you can transform a cluttered house into an organized and comfortable living space. If you find it difficult to start or stay motivated, consider seeking help from a professional organizer or enlisting a friend or family member for support.

I can be reached at or via email at or call 561-377-1039 for a free 15-minute consultation.

If you would like to learn more about this practice or would like to schedule a free consultation appointment, visit us online or call our office today at (561) 377-1039. You can schedule a 15-minute
free consultation here.

Dr. Eimer proudly serves patients in West Pam Beach, Wellington, Lake Worth, Boynton Beach, Delray Beach, Boca Raton, Deerfield Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Miami, and surrounding areas.

Join my email list here.


Coping After a Breakup

Dealing with a breakup can be really tough, especially if you were dumped. But there are ways to help cope with the pain and begin the healing process. Here are some suggestions:

Allow Yourself to Feel
Acknowledge Your Emotions: It’s normal to feel a range of emotions, from sadness to anger to confusion. Allow yourself to feel these emotions rather than suppressing them. Cry if you need to.
Crying can be a healthy way to release pent-up emotions.

Take Care of Yourself
Focus on self-care by engaging in activities that make you feel good. This could include exercise, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones. And maintain a healthy routine. Try to eat well, get enough
sleep, and stay active.

Reach Out for Support
Share your feelings with trusted friends or family members. They can offer support and perspective.

Consider Professional Help.

A therapist or counselor can help you work through your emotions and provide coping strategies.

Reflect and Grow
Reflect on the Relationship. Consider what you’ve learned from the relationship and how you can apply those lessons moving forward. Use this time to invest in yourself. Pick up a new hobby, learn a
new skill, or set personal goals.

Give Yourself Time
Be Patient. Healing from a breakup takes time. Allow yourself to grieve and gradually move on at your own pace. Avoid rushing into a new relationship so you can give yourself the time to heal.

Distract and Engage
Stay Busy. Keeping yourself occupied with activities, work, or social events can help take your mind off the breakup. This is also a time to reconnect with Interests and dive back into hobbies or interests that you may have neglected.

Establish Boundaries
Limit Contact with your ex. It might be helpful to take a break from contacting your ex, at least for a while. This can help you gain clarity and start to heal. Also, avoid social media. Consider taking a break
from social media, especially if it means seeing updates about your ex.

Focus on the Future
Set New Goals. Focus on what you want to achieve in the future, both personally and professionally. And visualize a positive future. Imagine the kind of life you want to create for yourself and take steps towards making it a reality.

Seek Positive Influences
Surround Yourself with Positivity by spending time with people who uplift and support you. Also, engage with Inspirational Content. Read books, watch movies, or listen to podcasts that inspire and
motivate you.

Remember, it’s okay to feel hurt, and healing is a gradual process. Taking proactive steps to care for yourself can make a significant difference. If you ever need to talk more about how you’re feeling or
need further advice, I’m here to help.

I can be reached at or via email at or call 561-377-1039 for a free 15-minute consultation.

If you would like to learn more about this practice or would like to schedule a free consultation appointment, visit us online or call our office today at (561) 377-1039. You can schedule a 15-minute free consultation here.

Dr. Eimer proudly serves patients in West Pam Beach, Wellington, Lake Worth, Boynton Beach, Delray Beach, Boca Raton, Deerfield Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Miami, and surrounding areas.

Join my email list here.


Concierge Hypnotherapy

Practicing hypnotherapists often see clients who have been to multiple therapists without attaining adequate resolution of their problems and symptoms. Many prospective clients continue to be troubled by persistent anxiety, depression, shame, and anger despite having been in therapy for years. Some continue to relive past trauma. Others suffer from troubled interpersonal relationships. Could a more intensive form of therapy provide a better opportunity for resolving their recalcitrant problems? In this article, I shall explain a particular form of hypnotherapy that I have been practicing successfully for years with carefully selected patients who presented with these types of persistent complaints. It is called Concierge Hypnotherapy

The language of the subconscious. When nothing else is working to bring about desired changes, hypnosis, when employed skillfully, can often facilitate the change of dysfunctional behavior in therapy (Zarren & Eimer, 2001). The reason clinical hypnosis makes change easier is that it addresses the Subconscious Mind (aka the Unconscious Mind) where resistance to change resides. This part of the mind has only one concern – that is survival! The subconscious mind only feels; it does not think. The subconscious mind encodes and stores information literally, and it does not have the same type of memory system as the Conscious Mind (Ewin, 2009; Zarren & Eimer, 2001). If your subconscious mind does not feel the need to support a behavioral change, it will not support the change.

Conflict between the Conscious and Unconscious Mind. Very often, I see people who consciously want to change a habit, such as smoking or eating the wrong foods. The problem is their subconscious does not know that (read “feel”) change is necessary and desired. This creates conflict and conflict creates more stress. To facilitate the desired change, the hypnotherapist must use hypnosis in a language that the patient’s subconscious can understand and accept. Then the subconscious can get the message, and it will collaborate with the conscious mind to facilitate the change.

Opening the “doorway” to the subconscious. I explain to new patients: 

We need the cooperation of our subconscious mind to change deeply engrained behaviors and habits. When we get this cooperation, it makes therapy briefer and deeper. With your permission, we will use hypnosis to open the “doorway” to your subconscious mind so that bad ideas that have been operating unconsciously can be effortlessly replaced with good ideas. Hypnosis is the language of the subconscious mind. Therefore, hypnosis with your cooperation makes it feasible for me to communicate with your subconscious in a form it can understand. 

Ideomotor signaling to confirm acceptance of suggestions. I use ideomotor signaling to obtain confirmation that the patient’s subconscious accepts the need to make a particular change, and that it is willing to allow me help the patient make the desired changes. This makes changing much easier.

The “answer” lies within. I tell patients: 

All hypnotherapy begins with the assumption that the answers to your problems and the keys to resolving your bothersome persistent symptoms lie within you. The objective of hypnotherapy is to discover a better solution within you, and to interpret this information in a way that makes sense to both parts of your mind – your conscious and unconscious (or subconscious). This information is then used to resolve the problem and implement the solution.

Concierge Hypnotherapy. This is a one-on-one intensive service that is designed to initiate the changes that will allow the patient to be successful in making desired changes sans “resistance”. It is a personalized individual therapy service in which I schedule extended sessions with the patient over several consecutive days. This provides the time necessary to do the intensive therapy work of uncovering and resolving the root causes of the patient’s persistent unwanted emotional reactions and behaviors. Concierge Therapy might be indicated if a patient suffers from treatment-resistant and persistent anxiety, depression, troublesome shame, post-traumatic stress disorder, and/or chronic pain. Because it involves long sessions over several consecutive days, Concierge Hypnotherapy is not covered by insurance. It is a private pay arrangement that is paid for at the time of service.

Is Concierge Hypnotherapy right for a patient? I have patients answer the following ten yes/no questions to get a better idea whether Concierge Hypnotherapy is the appropriate treatment for them.

1Treatment-resistant chronic pain.  Do you suffer from persistent physical pain, or other bothersome physical symptoms, for which no specific medical cause can be identified, or which have not responded to appropriate medical treatment?YESNO
2Disturbing physical symptoms. Would you like to free yourself from disturbing physical symptoms that have persisted despite appropriate medical treatment?  YESNO
3Old emotional burdens. Are you carrying old emotional burdens you have been unable to let go of despite previous therapies?YESNO
4Treatment-resistant anxiety or depression.  Do you suffer from treatment-resistant anxiety or depression that has not responded to psychiatric medications or therapy?YESNO
5Persistent post-traumatic stress symptoms. Do you suffer from intrusive memories, flashbacks, nightmares, sleep disturbances, or other distressing symptoms associated with a past traumatic experience?YESNO
6Unwanted self-defeating behavior.  Do you engage repeatedly in unwanted self-defeating behavior? YESNO
7Need to know why.  Would you like to understand the hidden reasons for your self-defeating behaviors?YESNO
8Inability to stop an unwanted habit.  Have you repeatedly tried unsuccessfully to stop smoking, lose weight, or recover from an addiction or unwanted habit? YESNO
9Inability to develop healthy habits. Have you tried unsuccessfully to develop healthier behavior habits?YESNO
10Readiness to change.  Are you motivated to work collaboratively with an experienced therapist to rapidly achieve the results you have been after?YESNO

Your results.  If you answered YES to at least two of Questions 1 through 9, and you answered YES to Question 10, then participating in Concierge Hypnotherapy with me is likely to be very helpful for you. Permit me to explain a bit more…

What is necessary for clinical hypnosis to be used effectively in therapy? The therapist must know when and how to use this “power tool”. This is how I explain it to patients:

The “when” is the time you recognize that you need more intensive therapy than you’ve been getting and . . .

  • You know what you need to do but…
  • You cannot seem to do it so…
  • You become discouraged because…
  • The work feels too hard and…
  • You wish there was an easier way…
  • There is an easier way. It is Hypnotherapy.

The “how” is the hypnotic application of the right clinical treatment strategy in a form that communicates to your unconscious mind the true necessity of the changes you want to make. The effectiveness of the hypnotically delivered treatment depends on several factors:

  • Your motivation to make the desired changes.
  • A good therapeutic relationship with your therapist.
  • Your therapist’s skills in using clinical hypnosis and delivering the appropriate treatment for your problem.

Essentially, there are two approaches to Hypnotherapy:

  1. Direct Suggestion In Hypnosis (DSIH) is often effective for alleviating simple habits. I explain: 

With this approach…

  • I assist you in entering a focused state of relaxed absorption – a state of mind in which the critical factor of your mind is suspended and in which selective thinking is established.
  • Then I give you individualized suggestions in a form that your subconscious understands and accepts.
  • The effectiveness of this approach depends on the nature and complexity of your problem.
  • It also depends on the effectiveness of the treatment strategy that I formulate after learning about you. 
  • It also depends on how “on-target” my hypnotic suggestions are. 
  • Unfortunately, many problems are not simple, and to resolve them, it is necessary to find the root cause.
  1. Hypnoanalysis is the technique that I use to find and address the root cause. I incorporate Regression to Cause along with Reframing (Ewin & Eimer, 2006; Hunter & Eimer, 2012). This type of intensive work often requires multiple extended sessions which are best scheduled over several consecutive days (i.e., Concierge Hypnotherapy).

Attachment and Vulnerability. We humans are social creatures. Interpersonal relationships are the fabric of our existence. From birth on, we formed attachments with our caregivers to get our basic needs met. As we developed, we continued to form attachments. Unfortunately, many of us grew up with caregivers who, because of their own issues, could not meet our basic needs for a secure attachment. Repeated efforts to cope with insecure attachments and unmet needs often create dysfunctional relationship patterns which are repeated throughout life. This perpetuates a state of continued internal threat (aka a “fight or flight” state of arousal). This causes a variety of troubling psychological and physical symptoms secondary to…

  • Continued wear and tear on the body and mind.
  • Repetitive use of dysfunctional behavior patterns in problematic situations.
  • Formation of negative self-evaluations
  • Increased vulnerability to stress and further trauma.

Trauma and “Triggers”.  I explain to patients: 

Few of us have had “perfect” childhoods. Most of us have experienced setbacks in our life. Many of us have experienced some form of trauma at different points in our life. Traumatic events vary in severity. There are so-called “Little Traumas” and “Big Traumas”. Regardless, the experience of trauma creates negative imprints in your Unconscious Mind. These negative imprints predispose you (i.e., sensitize you) to respond repeatedly in dysfunctional ways to situations that “trigger” you. To be “triggered” means the situations bring up disturbing thoughts and feelings associated with past traumatic experiences. When you are “triggered”, you are likely to behave in unwanted ways. What can you do about this?

Changing unwanted feelings and behaviors. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapies and Direct Suggestion In Hypnosis (DSIH) frequently are effective for getting rid of unwanted feelings, thoughts and behavior patterns. But, very often, other unwanted symptoms arise to take their place. This has been called “symptom substitution”. When this happens, more intensive therapy is often necessary.

Attachment Injury Resolution Therapy (AIRT).  AIRT is an intensive form of therapy that addresses the negative fixed ideas about “self” that the patient’s attachment traumas imprinted in his or her Unconscious Mind. These fixed ideas can be likened to a “psychological tumor” because they spread to different parts of one’s life, creating misery, and giving rise to additional toxic ideas. I explain that I work from the following assumptions:

  • The original fixed ideas arose in your struggle to survive the trauma of broken attachments.
  • These negative ideas have perpetuated a state of continued internal threat and made you feel as if your trauma was still happening. The result has been that…
  • You have felt anxious, hypervigilant, ashamed, angry and/or depressed, and…
  • You have been repeatedly triggered.
  • You continued to struggle to survive because…
  • You were unable to leave the past in the past and live in the present. 
  • This has prevented you from getting better.
  • To get well, these negative fixed ideas need to be removed, and new healthy ideas need to be imprinted into your Unconscious in their place. Then you no longer will be repeatedly triggered. 
  • In AIRT, to diminish repeated triggering, we work together to uncover your unconscious ideas about what happened to you in the past that sensitized you to react in unwanted self-defeating ways. These are memories which we refer to as your Initial Sensitizing Experiences or ISE’s. I use Intensive Hypnotherapy integrated with other therapeutic techniques to retrieve these memories.
  • Please note.  “Memory retrieval” is NOT like rewinding a tape or video player. The memories retrieved represent your current ideas about what happened to you in the past. They are NOT an exact or factual facsimile.
  • Once we identify your ISE’s, (i.e., your understandings of the “root causes” of your symptoms), we continue to work together using Hypnotherapy and other appropriate clinical modalities (e.g., EMDR Therapy) to review, reprocess and reframe these ideas. The objective is to clear your Unconscious Mind of bad ideas and replace them with good ideas. This paves the way for changing your dysfunctional behaviors and feelings.

A technically eclectic approach. In summary, in my work, I integrate Hypnotherapy, Hypnotic Regression Therapy, EMDR Therapy, and other techniques and approaches as appropriate (e.g., Parts Therapy, Ego State Therapy, Energy Psychology, CBT, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy).

Concierge Hypnotherapy as the solution. Concierge Hypnotherapy is NOT covered by insurance. It is a private pay arrangement that is paid for at the time of service. In the initial consultation, we determine whether this approach will be appropriate and beneficial for the patient. In my clinical practice, Concierge Hypnotherapy has proven to provide the solution that patients with unremitting symptoms have been missing. 


Eimer, B.N. & Hunter, C. R. (2020).  Taming Chronic Pain: A mindful approach for bringing pain relief. Kindle Direct Publishing. 

Ewin, D.M. (2009).  101 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Started Using Hypnosis. Bethel, CT: Crown House Publishing Company.

Ewin, D.M., & Eimer, B.N. (2006).  Ideomotor Signals for Rapid Hypnoanalysis: A How-To

Manual.  Springfield, IL: Charles Thomas.

Hunter, C.R. & Eimer, B.N. (2012). The Art of Hypnotic Regression Therapy: A Clinical Guide

Bethel, CT: Crown House Publishing Company.

Zarren, J.I. & Eimer, B.N. (2002).  Brief Cognitive Hypnosis: Facilitating the Change of 

dysfunctional behavior. New York: Springer Publishing Company.

Copyright © 2024 by Bruce Eimer, Ph.D., ABPP, CHt


Comprehensive A to Z Guide to the Qualities of a Good Therapist

The famous counseling psychologist, Carl Rogers wrote that the three essential qualities for a therapist to demonstrate were Empathy, Unconditional Positive Regard, and Congruence. These qualities are very important, but they alone are insufficient. There are other essential qualities. In this article, I shall list and explain each one. 

If you are a therapist or a hypnotherapist, this article is essential reading for you. I will be speaking directly to you. If you are currently searching for a good therapist, this article will help you evaluate potential therapists. 

A to Z Qualities.  For purposes of convenience, I shall go through the qualities of a good therapist using the letters of the alphabet from A to Z. So, let’ begin with the letter A. 

Attentive.  A good therapist is attentive. You must show your client that you’re paying close attention, and that you’re interested in what the client has to say. Dr. Freud called this “free floating attention”.

Articulate.  A good therapist is articulate and communicates precisely. You want to say what you want your client to hear in a way that doesn’t confuse your client. Be concise and precise. Your questions also should be clear and not confusing.

Accountable. A good therapist is accountable and requires his clients to be accountable.

Authentic. A good therapist is authentic and congruent. 

Active.  A good therapist is active. He does not just sit there and say “huh-huh”.

Boundaries.  Good fences make good neighbors. Good boundaries make good therapy.A good therapist from the get-go, sets up clear boundaries. If you have no boundaries, you have no therapy. Your client is your client and not your friend.

Believable.  A good therapistbelieves in what he does and therefore is believable. Such a therapist is convincing. He knows what he’s talking about and he does not make exaggerated claims.  

Calm.  A good therapist demonstrates calm. If you are nervous or tense, that will affect your client’s affect. The best way to calm an anxious client is to be calm. 

Confident.  A good therapist is confident. Therapy is a confidence game; if you have no confidence, there is no therapy.

Curious.  Curiosity might have killed the cat, but it makes for a good therapist.  So, a good therapist is curious. That is he is interested in learning about his client. You demonstrate your curiosity by asking a lot of questions. But you don’t ask questions about things that violate therapeutic boundaries. You only ask about the things that are relevant to therapy. You certainly don’t want to be intrusive.

Courteous.  A good therapist is courteous and respectful. If your client feels you’re rude or disrespectful, they’re going to run.

Dependable.  A good therapist is dependable. He follows through and demonstrates reliability. Therapy is supposed to be a safe haven. The therapist needs to be punctual and responsive. 

Ethical.  A good therapist is ethical. That means you have a value system, and you are committed to upholding your values by acting in accordance with your values. You’re interested in the best interest of your client. You are not guided by other agendas, irrelevant to doing therapy. You maintain good boundaries. You don’t take advantage of people you work with, or anyone for that matter. You observe the ethical guidelines of your particular profession and the legal guidelines. You get informed consent from your clients before you utilize procedures. You keep current on your continuing education.

Empathetic. A good therapist is empathetic and compassionate. Compassion is just as important as technical proficiency in a therapist’s qualities.

Flexible.  A good therapist is flexible. This means the therapist is not dogmatic or overly opinionated. The therapist doesn’t try to push a specific approach rigidly. The therapist adjusts his therapeutic approach and techniques to the person, and doesn’t try to mold the person to fit his favorite techniques.

Grounded.  A good therapist is grounded. Grounded means present and stable. It means connected to the earth with his feet on the ground.

Honest.  A good therapist is honest but not brutally so. If he has nothing constructive to comment on, he does not comment. He avoids sugarcoating things. He does not lie. He tells stories that are related in some way to the problems that he is working on solving with the client. 

Humble.  A good therapist is humble. He is unpretentious. He shows humility. Don’t be afraid to show that you don’t know where to go next. However, even though you might not know where to go next, you are confident that you know how to handle confusion or uncertainty. Clients enter therapy with lots of uncertainty, and anxiety.

Hypnotic.  A good therapist is hypnotic. You don’t have to hypnotize someone into a formal trance to informally induce a trance through the rapport that develops in your conversation. Some practitioners refer to this as naturalistic hypnosis or conversational hypnosis. The core of this is that the language you use needs to be precise and acceptable to your client’s conscious and unconscious mind. You need to communicate simultaneously to both parts of your client’s mind. And if you use Hypnosis, or you are a Professional Hypnotherapist, the waking hypnosis prepares your client for the formal hypnosis. The rapport you have developed with your client when your client goes into trance paves the road for doing your “hypnosis pre-talk” and then inducing Hypnosis.

Intelligent.  A good therapist is intelligent and needs to be more intelligent than his clients about the business of emotions and the issues they are working on solving. 

Inquiring. A good therapist asks a lot of hood questions.

Instructive.  If you are a therapist, you need to be skilled. You need to know techniques. Being a therapist is part educator and teacher. You need to be instructive. You need to be able to instruct your clients in developing coping skills that will help them become more effective in dealing with their life challenges. 

Interested.  Be interested in learning about your client. There is no such thing as a boring client. People who are boring are boring for a reason. It is your job to find the reason. That in itself is interesting. Be curious about people. People are interesting. If you are a therapist, and you do not find people interesting, then you were not in the right business. If you start to look at people as interesting, and that means every client that crosses the doorstep into your office, you’ll have a good time and you’ll find your work stimulating.

Just.  A good therapist is fair and believes in justice. The world is unjust and unfair. A good therapist is serious about being fair.

Knowledgeable.  A good therapist is knowledgeable and skilled. If you do not have more knowledge than your clients, in terms of the issues they bring to you, then refer to someone who does. You should be thirsty for knowledge, and for learning new things. This will make you a better therapist. Otherwise, you become stagnant. That can lead to boredom and burn out.

Listens well.  A good therapist must be a good listener. 

Motivating.  Related to being hypnotic, a good therapist motivates his clients in a positive direction through his affect, attitude, attention, questions, clarifications, and suggestions.

Neutral.  When you are wearing the therapist hat, you must be non-judgmental and neutral. This does not mean being accepting of unacceptable behavior. What this does mean, is walking the middle ground to help your clients resolve their conflicts. If you are prejudiced towards a particular group of people or issue, then you have no business treating those people who are struggling with that issue. It is never the job of therapist to preach, or try to convert someone against their value system or the system by which they navigate their world. There should be no hidden agenda. If you have an agenda with a client because you’re out for something, then you have no business being their therapist. That is just plain unethical and immoral.

Observant.  To be a good therapist, you need to be observant. You have to be a careful observer and watch the behavioral manifestations of your client’s internal cues. You need to pick up changes in mood, changes in behavior, and subtle indications of defiance, anxiety, fear, anger, resentment, and so on. You need to be able to read your clients. Learn about body language. Learn how to do ideomotor signaling in hypnosis if you are a Hypnotherapist.

Organized. A good therapist is organized and structured. He presents an organized and structured model of what therapy is and how the client needs to participate. He then socializes the client to become a good therapy client. 

Optimistic.  A good therapist is appropriately optimistic. This doesn’t mean pollyannish. The therapist takes the position that he believes that the client is in his office to get better. He expects to be able to help the client to get better. But, following ethical guidelines, the therapist does not make guarantees.

Present.  A good therapist is present, which means aware and attentive. He is not thinking about something else while he is doing therapy, and he is not distracted. He is focused.

Patient.  A good therapist has patience. He does not make you feel rushed.

Problem solver.  A good therapist is a good problem solver.

Questioning.  A good therapist is questioning. He is interested in knowing more about his client and understanding the reasons for the problems and issues that his client is presenting. However, the therapist only asks appropriate questions that need to be answered. He is not intrusive and doesn’t violate boundaries.

Reliable.  A good therapist can be counted on. He keeps appointments, runs on time, and demonstrates he cares. He participates with clients in the ways he says he would.

Structured.  A good therapist works from a model of human psychology and therapy. He is organized. He can explain his therapy model clearly, how he works from that model, and how the methods he uses help clients get well.

Self-aware. A good therapist is self-aware. He makes a conscious use of himself in the service of the therapy. 

Thoughtful.  A good therapist is thoughtful. He thinks before he speaks, and he has a dialogue in his head that helps him to evaluate what is happening in the therapy, the results of his interventions, and which interventions to implement next. 

Technically proficient. A good therapist is well trained in a range of therapeutic approaches and techniques. 

Trustworthy.  You are going to bear your soul to your therapist. Your therapist must be trustworthy. If you hold back because you are uncomfortable sharing information, this will impede getting well.

Unpretentious. A good therapist is unpretentious. Related to what I said earlier, he is humble and shows humility. He is not on a “high horse”. He treats everyone as an equal.

Understanding.  A good therapist is understanding.

Versatile.  A good therapist is versatile. He can work in a variety of ways. This is related to the quality of being flexible. 

Values.  A good therapist has good values.

Watchful.  A good therapist is observant.

Willing. A good therapist is willing to form a therapeutic alliance with you.

X.  A good therapist sets good eXamples in his behavior. He also gives good eXamples that illustrate situations wherein your issues come up and how to deal more effectively with those situations. 

Y.  A good therapist asks whY questions as well as how, what, when, where, and with whom questions. 

Zealous.  A good therapist is passionate about his work.

A good therapist is AWARE

AWARE is an acronym that summarizes what a good therapist does in any given session:

Addresses the most pressing issues.

Watches and listens carefully.

Administers appropriate techniques.

Reframes dysfunctional ideas.

Evaluates session outcomes. 

If you would like to learn more about this practice or would like to schedule a free consultation appointment, visit us online at or call our office today at (561) 377-1039. 

You can schedule a 15-minute free consultation here.

Sign up for our free presentation downloads

Dr. Eimer proudly serves patients in West Pam Beach, Wellington, Lake Worth, Boynton Beach, Delray Beach, Boca Raton, Deerfield Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Miami, and surrounding areas.

Copyright © 2024 by Bruce Eimer, Ph.D., ABPP


Relapse Prevention for Alcoholics | Delray Beach, FL

Preventing drinking relapses can be challenging, but there are strategies and steps that can significantly reduce the likelihood of a relapse for someone struggling with alcohol addiction. Here are some tips:

  1. Identify Triggers: Recognize and understand the triggers that lead to drinking. Common triggers include stress, certain social situations, emotions, or specific environments. Avoiding or managing these triggers is crucial.
  2. Build a Strong Support Network: Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, or a support group like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Having a network of people who understand and can provide encouragement can be invaluable.
  3. Seek Professional Help: Consider therapy, counseling, or rehabilitation programs. Professional guidance can provide coping strategies, address underlying issues, and offer ongoing support.
  4. Develop Coping Mechanisms: Learn healthy coping mechanisms to deal with stress, anxiety, and emotions. This could include mindfulness, exercise, hobbies, or relaxation techniques.
  5. Create a Relapse Prevention Plan: Work with a therapist or counselor to develop a detailed plan outlining steps to take if faced with triggers or urges. This plan should include specific actions to avoid relapse and strategies to cope if temptation arises.
  6. Practice Self-Care: Focus on physical and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and stress management techniques can improve overall health and resilience against relapse.
  7. Make daily gratitude rituals: For example, every morning upon awakening, list 10 things you are grateful for.
  8. Avoid Tempting Situations: Stay away from situations or environments where alcohol is readily available or where you might feel pressured to drink.
  9. Stay Engaged in Recovery: Attend therapy sessions, support group meetings, or any ongoing treatment recommended by professionals. Continuous engagement in recovery efforts reinforces commitment and provides ongoing support.
  10. Learn from Relapses: If a relapse occurs, it’s essential to view it as a learning experience rather than a failure. Identify what triggered the relapse and use it as an opportunity to strengthen your relapse prevention strategies.
  11. Celebrate Milestones: Acknowledge and celebrate achievements, whether small or significant, in your recovery journey. This can help boost motivation and reinforce your commitment to staying sober.

The key takeaway I share with my patients in recovery is that you need to be for something as opposed to be just against something. It will not stick if you promise that you will NOT drink because….You need to be for yourself – your health and wellbeing (mental and physical), your relationship with God, and your purpose in life. Everyone has a purpose!

Remember, recovery is a journey, and setbacks can happen. It’s essential to stay committed to the process and seek help and support when needed. Each person’s journey to sobriety is unique, so finding what works best for you and staying committed to your goals is crucial.

For over 30 years, I have helped thousands of people in drug and alcohol recovery to live a clean, content, and sober life. If you would like to learn more about my practice, or would like to schedule a free consultation appointment, visit us online or call our office today at (561) 377-1039.

Dr. Eimer proudly serves patients in West Palm Beach, Lake Worth, Wellington, Boynton Beach, Delray Beach, Boca Raton, Deerfield Beach, Pompano Beach, Parkland, Coral Springs, Hallandale, Fort Lauderdale, Miami, and surrounding areas.

Eimer Blog Entry 12-15-23

Copyright © by Bruce Eimer, Ph.D


Make the Law of Attraction in Dating Work For You | Delray Beach, FL

I recently worked with a divorced man who was disillusioned about ever meeting a woman who wasn’t looking for a “sugar daddy”. He had recently ended a relationship with a woman whom he said primarily viewed him as a “dinner daddy”. In his online dating, he felt that he kept meeting women with similar mentalities. Often, his anger would surface, and he would then say something inappropriate. I reminded him that most of these women were probably hurt too. We then did some hypnosis. I invited him to “sit back and relax right now”. I went on to suggest:

“Close your eyes. And prepare to go inside for a few minutes of meditation. I’d like to invite you to listen to the meaning behind my voice. Listen to my words and allow your own mind to create associations that are meaningful to you. When you think about your experience, there are times when anger is justified and then there are times when anger just fuels a fire that should be put out. 

You have been meeting women who might be classified as “gold diggers”. And you have gotten ramped up. And angry. Because they signify what it is that you detest. You give them the power to anger you. You may believe that because a woman is attractive, she is able to get things for free. BUT NOTHING IS FOR FREE. 

When you focus on what such a woman seems to get, you fail to see what she misses. It would be beneficial for you to see what such a woman fails to get. 

A woman who is primarily driven to get taken to a fancy dinner. To get free luxury travel, and gifts. What is it that she does not have? What is it that you have that such a woman doesn’t? 

How valuable is self-respect? How valuable is a real man’s respect? 

When a person’s values are shallow, they probably don’t believe in God. Or even kindness. They probably don’t have time to care for a pet like a dog or a cat. They probably don’t have patience. They’re shallow. And they are most likely miserable creatures who are angry most of the time because if they don’t get what they want immediately, they then feel. Deprived. 

To live like that. To be all about what they can get, leaves no time to nurture a soul – Their soul or someone else’s.

When you think of what’s important to you, you think of Love. Loyalty. Companionship. Connection. Of course, you covet beauty. You deserve to be with a woman who’s attractive. You take care of yourself. And so should the woman that you desire. But when a woman is only thinking about material things, what she can get, she becomes ugly. Eventually she may get too much plastic surgery. 

If she eats and drinks too much, she will probably get flabby and too fat. And then she’s no longer attractive. And if she is impatient and bitchy, she’s miserable. This is not whom you want as a long term partner.

So, meditate on the kind of woman you’d like to have and love as your soulmate. What would such a woman bring to your life?

Clearly, you want attractive. But what else? Warmth. Kindness. Compassion. Empathy. Consideration. Communication. Wisdom. Intelligence. Athleticism.

Open your mind. Have flexibility. Acceptance. These are all the things that you know you want. So why waste your time, your precious time with women who cannot give you these things?

A jackal cleans things up by eating everything. Always on the hunt. Hunting for weaker animals. For waste. What a waste. Don’t waste your precious time.

Be strong. Why waste your time with people who are energy suckers? 

You want to meet a woman who is innocent? Who is honest? Who is pure? One who has good values? In order to meet such a woman, you need to set your intentions on it. When you intend to meet a woman like that, such a woman shall come along. She’ll come around. It is the Universal Law of Attraction.

Law of attraction says that you attract what you expect. What you think about.

And you know that when you get angry at someone you have just met, that anger is based on what you expect and do not get. And primarily thinking about what you don’t want, you get that – what you primarily think about. So, turn on your signal detectors to pick up the signal, the wavelength of a woman who has a soul.

Think about that type of woman. And refuse to think about all the other types of women that you don’t want to be with anyway.

And you will meet the right woman one day. Sooner than you think. That is, when you program your signal detector with the right woman’s wavelength – the wavelength of a woman with soul. And totally tune out the wavelengths of other types of women who are not for you.

You can do it. Tune into the frequency of who you want to meet a get to know. That’s what you want. You have the ability. Put your anger where it belongs. Put it in a place where it will stay until it’s needed. And it’s not needed when you talk to strangers. It’s not needed when you talk to acquaintances.

There’s a time and a place for anger. And most of the time, it is not the time. And not the place. Now meditate on that. And when you’ve meditated on this and you are satisfied that you’ve meditated for long enough for now, you can come back to a waking state. And open your eyes. And feel settled and strong and decisive and unafraid.  GOOD WORK.”

My patient left that session and met a wonderful woman that Christmas. What a lovely Christmas present!

For over 30 years, I have helped thousands of single patients who struggled with the dating world master their anxiety, anger and depression so they could eventually meet their soul mate. If you would like to learn more about my practice, or would like to schedule a free consultation appointment, visit us online or call our office today at (561) 377-1039.

Dr. Eimer proudly serves patients in West Palm Beach, Lake Worth, Wellington, Boynton Beach, Delray Beach, Boca Raton, Deerfield Beach, Pompano Beach, Parkland, Coral Springs, Hallandale, Fort Lauderdale, Miami, and surrounding areas.

Eimer Blog Entry 12-1-23

Copyright © by Bruce Eimer, Ph.D


The Core of Psychotherapy | Delray Beach, FL

The core of psychotherapy is examining why you keep getting what you don’t want and are not getting what you think you want from people. Different schools of therapy use different terms to describe this core issue. Behavioral therapists talk about what you inadvertently reinforce through your actions or inactions. On the other hand, psychoanalytically oriented therapists (i.e., those following Freudian approaches) talk about unconscious conflicts. However, no matter your therapist’s theoretical orientation, a good therapist will eventually address your core issue. 

In my approach to doing therapy, I like to eventually figure out what your “core conflictual relationship theme”, or “CCRT”, is. We all have a CCRT. In fact, we all have multiple CCRTs. But we all have one CCRT that lies at the root of most of our problematic issues, no matter who we are. Of course, that core CCRT is different for each of use. A good therapist eventually will help you to discover your core CCRT.  

In a nutshell, the parts of a CCRT are a Wish (i.e., what you want), what you Expect to get, how you Act given what you expect to get or not get, and how you React or Respond to what you do get or don’t get. A useful acronym to remember this dynamic sequence is WEAR. I like this acronym because we all wear our expectations on our bodies in one way or another. Here is one example from a recent session I had with a patient. 

This patient wantsher daughter to respect her. She expects that her daughter will continue to act disrespectfully given their history together. Nevertheless, this patient continues to actin ways that reinforce her daughter’s continued disrespect. And to make matters worse for her, my patient’s response to being disrespected by her daughter further reinforces her daughter’s disrespectful behavior.  Our sessions have been focused on helping the patient understand this dynamic which is her Core Conflictual Relation Theme or CCRT with the goal of helping her modify it. 

Unfortunately, our CCRTs are largely unconscious. So, as your therapist, I would first help you recognize your CCRT. Once we both recognize your CCRT, our job is to work together to understand your CCRT. And once we understand it, our job is to work together to change this CCRT in a realistic way so you can have a better life. More on this approach to how I do therapy in a future blog entry.

Dr. Eimer proudly serves patients in West Pam Beach, Wellington, Lake Worth, Boynton Beach, Delray Beach, Boca Raton, Deerfield Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Miami, and surrounding areas.


Understanding Panic Disorder and How Hypnotherapy Can Help | Boca Raton, FL

Panic, at its most basic level, is a reaction to stimuli that set off an alarm in the subconscious. Historically, it may have kept hunters and gatherers alive, but today someone can become panicked about any number of things that are not a threat to survival; the modern world is stimulating! Many people experience at least one panic attack in their lifetimes. Having a panic attack differs from having a panic disorder in that in the latter, panic attacks are triggered multiple times unpredictably. 

Panic disorder is the persistent experience of living in fear of another attack. While breathing will help the person experiencing a panic attack, it does little to help someone cope with, and move beyond, their panic disorder.

Hypnotherapy reduces the likelihood that someone may experience a panic attack by uncovering the subconscious reasons why it’s happening in the first place. When we work together, we will begin to unravel your unique behavioral patterns and responses that are triggered under stress. From there, we will work to replace those with an appropriate response. This allows you to gain control of your subconscious, making stressors less overwhelming over time as you practice my methods in daily life.

If you would like to learn more about this practice or would like to schedule a free consultation appointment, visit us online or call our office today at (561) 377-1039.

Dr. Eimer proudly serves patients in West Pam Beach, Wellington, Lake Worth, Boynton Beach, Delray Beach, Boca Raton, Deerfield Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Miami, and surrounding areas.


Truly Quit Smoking: The Power of Hypnotherapy | Boca Raton, FL

You may have heard of someone developing an oral fixation; examples include chewing on a blade of grass or smoking a cigarette. When a person is addicted to nicotine, they develop a genuine physical and mental dependence on it. Distancing oneself from activities like vaping and smoking becomes more difficult over time as a result.

Nicotine patches, going cold turkey, slowly reducing your daily cigarette count- these are all perfectly normal avenues to consider and test along your journey. Hypnotherapy can also be a powerful tool to help someone overcome their nicotine addiction and/or oral fixation.

When your conscious and unconscious mind begins to interact through hypnotherapy, that is when you will stop smoking, feel less stressed, and experience little to no withdrawal symptoms. Our habits are controlled by the subconscious mind, and hypnotherapy taps into your subconscious to unlock lasting change.

Dr. Eimer feels the following are essential to the process, and are what anyone who really wants to quit smoking needs:

  • A compelling, emotionally valid reason
  • Understanding the effects of cigarettes on your health
  • Comprehending the consequences of continuing the habit
  • Recognizing the benefits of being a non-smoker
  • Skills for managing the stress of quitting and managing any symptoms of withdrawal

The best results come from having a powerful individualized live session, however, Dr. Eimer authored the Best Stop Smoking With Hypnosis Program available for purchase here

If you would like to learn more about this practice or would like to schedule a free consultation appointment, visit us online or call our office today at (561) 377-1039.

Dr. Eimer proudly serves patients in West Pam Beach, Wellington, Lake Worth, Boynton Beach, Delray Beach, Boca Raton, Deerfield Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Miami, and surrounding areas.


Helping Couples Rekindle Their Bond Through Hypnotherapy | Delray Beach, FL

If you have been having a difficult time relating to your partner, feel at odds, are struggling with miscommunication, or have lost the spark you once shared, have you considered hypnotherapy? Couples counseling through hypnotherapy can be a great way for couples to improve their intimacy and mutual understanding, with the caveat that each person is willing to put in the work. Contrary to common misconception, hypnotherapy does not absolve the couple of the work necessary to achieve their shared goal. It makes it easier to do the necessary work! 

My strategic approach begins by understanding each person’s dedication to the relationship itself, their willingness to improve it, their commonalities, and their differences. Once I have gained a well-rounded understanding of each person’s perspective and goals, I design our sessions to bring the couple back together in a way that addresses the real issues, rather than simply breaking surface tension.

Hypnotherapy is a powerful tool in helping couples relax heightened defenses, recall positive memories, and build new bonds. Of course, this doesn’t come easily for most people – it requires the commitment of each person to do the work. However, with my guidance and support, you and your partner can rekindle your bond, and carry on stronger together.

If you would like to learn more about hypnotherapy for couples counseling or would like to schedule a free consultation appointment, visit us online or call our office today at (561) 377-1039.

Dr. Eimer proudly serves patients in West Pam Beach, Wellington, Lake Worth, Boynton Beach, Delray Beach, Boca Raton, Deerfield Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Miami, and surrounding areas.