I recently worked with a divorced man who was disillusioned about ever meeting a woman who wasn’t looking for a “sugar daddy”. He had recently ended a relationship with a woman whom he said primarily viewed him as a “dinner daddy”. In his online dating, he felt that he kept meeting women with similar mentalities. Often, his anger would surface, and he would then say something inappropriate. I reminded him that most of these women were probably hurt too. We then did some hypnosis. I invited him to “sit back and relax right now”. I went on to suggest:
“Close your eyes. And prepare to go inside for a few minutes of meditation. I’d like to invite you to listen to the meaning behind my voice. Listen to my words and allow your own mind to create associations that are meaningful to you. When you think about your experience, there are times when anger is justified and then there are times when anger just fuels a fire that should be put out.
You have been meeting women who might be classified as “gold diggers”. And you have gotten ramped up. And angry. Because they signify what it is that you detest. You give them the power to anger you. You may believe that because a woman is attractive, she is able to get things for free. BUT NOTHING IS FOR FREE.
When you focus on what such a woman seems to get, you fail to see what she misses. It would be beneficial for you to see what such a woman fails to get.
A woman who is primarily driven to get taken to a fancy dinner. To get free luxury travel, and gifts. What is it that she does not have? What is it that you have that such a woman doesn’t?
How valuable is self-respect? How valuable is a real man’s respect?
When a person’s values are shallow, they probably don’t believe in God. Or even kindness. They probably don’t have time to care for a pet like a dog or a cat. They probably don’t have patience. They’re shallow. And they are most likely miserable creatures who are angry most of the time because if they don’t get what they want immediately, they then feel. Deprived.
To live like that. To be all about what they can get, leaves no time to nurture a soul – Their soul or someone else’s.
When you think of what’s important to you, you think of Love. Loyalty. Companionship. Connection. Of course, you covet beauty. You deserve to be with a woman who’s attractive. You take care of yourself. And so should the woman that you desire. But when a woman is only thinking about material things, what she can get, she becomes ugly. Eventually she may get too much plastic surgery.
If she eats and drinks too much, she will probably get flabby and too fat. And then she’s no longer attractive. And if she is impatient and bitchy, she’s miserable. This is not whom you want as a long term partner.
So, meditate on the kind of woman you’d like to have and love as your soulmate. What would such a woman bring to your life?
Clearly, you want attractive. But what else? Warmth. Kindness. Compassion. Empathy. Consideration. Communication. Wisdom. Intelligence. Athleticism.
Open your mind. Have flexibility. Acceptance. These are all the things that you know you want. So why waste your time, your precious time with women who cannot give you these things?
A jackal cleans things up by eating everything. Always on the hunt. Hunting for weaker animals. For waste. What a waste. Don’t waste your precious time.
Be strong. Why waste your time with people who are energy suckers?
You want to meet a woman who is innocent? Who is honest? Who is pure? One who has good values? In order to meet such a woman, you need to set your intentions on it. When you intend to meet a woman like that, such a woman shall come along. She’ll come around. It is the Universal Law of Attraction.
Law of attraction says that you attract what you expect. What you think about.
And you know that when you get angry at someone you have just met, that anger is based on what you expect and do not get. And primarily thinking about what you don’t want, you get that – what you primarily think about. So, turn on your signal detectors to pick up the signal, the wavelength of a woman who has a soul.
Think about that type of woman. And refuse to think about all the other types of women that you don’t want to be with anyway.
And you will meet the right woman one day. Sooner than you think. That is, when you program your signal detector with the right woman’s wavelength – the wavelength of a woman with soul. And totally tune out the wavelengths of other types of women who are not for you.
You can do it. Tune into the frequency of who you want to meet a get to know. That’s what you want. You have the ability. Put your anger where it belongs. Put it in a place where it will stay until it’s needed. And it’s not needed when you talk to strangers. It’s not needed when you talk to acquaintances.
There’s a time and a place for anger. And most of the time, it is not the time. And not the place. Now meditate on that. And when you’ve meditated on this and you are satisfied that you’ve meditated for long enough for now, you can come back to a waking state. And open your eyes. And feel settled and strong and decisive and unafraid. GOOD WORK.”
My patient left that session and met a wonderful woman that Christmas. What a lovely Christmas present!
For over 30 years, I have helped thousands of single patients who struggled with the dating world master their anxiety, anger and depression so they could eventually meet their soul mate. If you would like to learn more about my practice, or would like to schedule a free consultation appointment, visit us online or call our office today at (561) 377-1039.
Dr. Eimer proudly serves patients in West Palm Beach, Lake Worth, Wellington, Boynton Beach, Delray Beach, Boca Raton, Deerfield Beach, Pompano Beach, Parkland, Coral Springs, Hallandale, Fort Lauderdale, Miami, and surrounding areas.
Eimer Blog Entry 12-1-23
Copyright © by Bruce Eimer, Ph.D